8 Essentials for a Healthy Marriage
Why not ask them for their best relationship/marriage advice? been married for 10+ years and is still happy in their relationship, what lessons would you As we 'll see throughout the rest of this article, everything that makes a and adults quickly arranged marriages before their children were old enough. In romantic relationships, as with so much else, it's the little things that count. Just as a mis-spoken word or odd look can throw a couple into a weeks-long feud. When they met: In sixth grade but started dating in 10th grade. When they married: They were engaged in September and plan to wed.
I want to tell them to quit their sarcasm and instead to encourage each other. We all tend to become the persons described in the compliments that our spouses and friends pay us. We will do almost anything to live up to the compliments and encouragements of a boyfriend or a girlfriend or a proud wife or husband.
Let me tell you a story about a man who received his PhD from this institution. We had known this person for a number of years.
He married later than many, and as we watched him relate with a young woman, we wondered if she could keep up; we wondered if she had the capacity to understand life as he had learned it because he was more than several years older.
Then, as we observed that couple at social functions and elsewhere, we saw that he would take time to carefully instruct her. As he returned from classwork, he would bring home books for her to read and to study. As they took long walks, they were constantly teaching each other. What a beautiful marriage and what a lovely family they now have because they have taken the time to compliment and to build each other!
They are serving now in the mission field together, there because of his sensitivity and because of her sensitivity, there because they desire to build one another. Talking Openly As a seventh recommendation, in dating or in marriage, never resort to the silent treatment.
Always be open and straightforward with each other. Too often we may respond to tensions by clamming up or by taking a walk. A young wife in the southwest corner of Salt Lake County asked me to talk with her husband. He just walks out the door. He can go on for days or even a week or two without saying a word. Let me work it out by myself. What is marriage if it is not sharing and helping one another through crises? Keep the door to your heart open. The times when we shut others out are often the times when we need their help the most.
Of course we need times of privacy, to think alone. Of course we need time to pray and to meditate. And we should understand and respect these needs in others. However, we should never be inconsiderate or unappreciative of a concerned husband or wife who is trying to help at a time of trouble and discouragement.
15 Key Secrets To A Successful Marriage
Even when cheating has occurred, we must be willing, under most circumstances, to accept their true repentance. Thousands of marriages have survived the most critical problems and have been successful only because godly sorrow for sin was followed by Christlike forgiveness. A woman was referred to my office for a blessing for the restoration of her health.
She had been ill for seven years. She had had exploratory surgery three times, had been in the hospital a number of times, and had switched doctors more often than annually. And I declined to give her a blessing when the Spirit said there was nothing wrong physically.
Brothers and sisters, you can imagine what an awkward position I found myself in, having to say no. She had not been pleased with his behavior and had carried with her a scarred heart, emotions that had been disrupted and confused, and she was bitter.
Now wait just a minute, Elder Pinnock. About ten days later the telephone rang. I have thought a great deal about it since then, and I believe that is your problem. Confiding Only in the Bishop or Branch President Ninth, remember never to turn to a third party in time of marital trouble except to your bishop or branch president.
In sensitive and inspired ways he will direct you to a competent counselor if that is what is needed. Someone is always ready and eager to consult a hurting wife or husband, and when marriage partners have no one to talk with at home, unfortunately, too often they seek a friend elsewhere.
And that, dear brothers and sisters, is where almost all adultery has its origin. It can happen in the neighborhood, in a ward choir, at the office, or anywhere else. Secret affairs begin innocently enough just by talking about mutual hurts, but then comes a dependency period that too often ends in transferring loyalty and affection, followed by adultery. Never ever, never ever, confide your marriage troubles to a third party, no, not even to your closest friend.
He or she may be the first to tell your troubles to another, becoming the one to hurt you most severely. Lean on the Savior and rely upon your bishop and your stake president.
Remember that because, as the years quickly come and go, there will be stressful times when you will need to talk to someone. Remember who it should be. The system which the Lord has given us is simple. Having Fun Tenth, have clean, wholesome fun during your dating years and retain the same joy in marriage.
God intends for us to find joy in life. Man is that he might have joy.
Most marriages begin with joy, and those that succeed retain it. Last Thanksgiving we went up to Bear Lake.
15 Key Secrets to a Successful Marriage | stelmaschuk.info
We have a little farm home there. My wife and I began a tickling contest. I am a world-class tickler. I am one of the greatest ticklers that has ever lived. Well, as we were laughing and giggling, in came the children.
Soon they joined in and we had a great time. When a marriage loses its happiness, it becomes weak and vulnerable. Find a happy home, and you will find a joyful couple at the helm.
Husbands and wives who no longer laugh and play together are losing their fondness for each other and perhaps even their capacity to stay together.
Different arenas for meeting allow for different opportunities to get to know each other and see if there is enough curiosity or interest to take it to the next level which would involve arranging a second or third meeting.
Curiosity, Interest, and Infatuation During the second stage, attraction and infatuation are most pronounced. Early attraction often involves the physical attributes of the partner and include things like outward appearance, body type, interests and personality traits. Couples generally do not have much conflict at this stage of the cycle as each is really trying hard to impress the other person.
For women especially there may also be a desire to figure out where the relationship is headed. Going slowly in making any decisions about a relationship are more likely to be better ones than moving quickly unless it is clear that the relationship is not a good fit. Both halves of a couple will notice weaknesses and differences or flaws.
Some of those perpetual issues or differences such as free-spending or frugal, neat and orderly or sloppy and disorganized, interested in lots of time together or more involved in outside activities begin to emerge. Observe the physical way in which your partner shows love. This could be, washing your car, or picking up the kids.
From her, it could be keeping the toiletries stocked and ironing his shirts.
For others, its words, letters, and affection. Understanding love language is the secret to a happy relationship. Acceptance A major relationship killer, lack of acceptance is a trait more commonly attributed to women, who are known for their nagging. Remember, we married our spouse for who he was then, and who he is now. When urging or persuading him, you are only focusing on his weaknesses or problems. Change your perspective immediately and start focusing on positive traits instead.
Take responsibility It is that easy and one of the secrets of a successful marriage. When you participate in a project, take responsibility for your successes and your failures. When you and your partner have a disagreement or argument, remember to take responsibility for your actions, including anything you did or said, especially if it was hurtful, unthoughtful or created adversity. Never take one another for granted Taking one another for granted may be the most toxic pathogen of all.
Once they are comfortable, it is easy for couples to begin to slip into a complacent state — and expectations form.
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This is actually only a matter of human nature, as we get comfortable with what is familiar, but in marriage, you absolutely should never come to a place where you take your partner for granted. Pledge to respect your partner indefinitely no matter what. Avoid assumptions, and offer to do nice things for your partner whenever possible. Date night Among the other tips for a successful marriage, this tip is the most ignored and overlooked by couples, especially those who have been married for a while.
It does not matter what a couple does on their date night. Simply having a night when they spend their time just with each other strengthens the bond and maintains it over time.
When you have a date night, you should turn your phones off and put them away so you are free of distractions.