Dating and HIV | The Well Project
Dating after a breakup is hard enough — now add being HIV positive to with not getting pregnant more than with getting an STI, let alone HIV. HIV is not as talked about in the heterosexual community. I've had girls say they were interested in dating me, and then when things kind of. You're not only imagining the candlelit romance of your first kiss, you're picturing his or her face when you disclose. If your date's HIV negative.
What do you miss the most when your partner is focused on his regimen and self-care, and how could you get more of what you need?
Getting together with friends, or spending quality time together? It can be hard to sit down and have a conversation about needs and expectations. These conversations can veer into dangerous territory, and nobody wants to walk into a conflict especially when you or your partner may experience some raw feelings. But also keep in mind that talking about your relationship can make it stronger. Make that your goal. Start on a positive note: And I know you are dealing with a lot.
I want to support you in taking good care of yourself. I want to understand your treatment regimen. No elephants in the room, okay? Most of all, be patient. Learning to live with HIV is an ongoing process adjusting to the drug regimen, making healthy lifestyle changes, and coping with the emotions that come up, as well as issues like disclosure. All of this requires lots of patience with your boyfriend and yourself.
If you can keep the line of communication open, without accusations or defensiveness, you will be more able to avoid hurt feelings and resentment. While life may feel out of balance right now, the two of you will find your new normal as your boyfriend gains his footing on the road ahead. Remind each other every day who number one is, then back up your words with action.
My boyfriend has been incredibly supportive since I got my HIV diagnosis.
Being watched that closely is disempowering, even though I know he means well. And his constant hovering is stressing me out. I already have a mother. What can I do to get him to lighten up without hurting his feelings? Your question is ironic in a way. And then I have clients who, like you, would like it if their partners would back off and not be so micromanaging. Coping with parental behavior begins with understanding your partner.
Dating While HIV Positive
His teeth are stained and he smells, but he likes me the way I am. He knows more four letter words than I ever thought existed, but he is not afraid of HIV. No defect could be big enough to counteract the single quality: I held on to them with claws and teeth, honestly believing that my chances for happiness had been taken away by HIV. Many people have the fear of dying alone; the need to have someone hold me when I wake up in the middle of the night from dreams of death and sorrow; and the desire for sex, which stays alive, until the rise and fall of the last T-cell.
Positive Recently, I broke up an abusive relationship that had lasted 3 years. It took a lot of courage for me to break free.
How to Date an HIV-Positive Guy
My fear was primarily based in the fact that I thought I would find myself in the "dating dread," again. Bad with him, worse without him: Instead, what I found out, has changed my whole outlook on dating and HIV.
Most of the positive men I've met are gay. The few who were not gay wouldn't give up the hard drugs. That life-style is just too depressing for me.
I don't want to be a part of all that death and misery. But now, the disease and the way we live with it has changed. There are many more heterosexual men and women with HIV than there used to be. People are living longer and healthier. Relationships are a major part in achieving a better quality of life for many people, including myself. I was not the only positive heterosexual looking for a partner anymore.
The Internet gives you anonymity and confidence to reach out. And for people like myself, living in a small town, it may become a major bridge to the HIV community. Some agencies, including Women Alive, have HIV heterosexual socials and support groups where you can meet all kinds of interesting people in safe and confidential settings.
And the best thing that I've found out is; HIV- positive men will treat you like a queen! They too have been through rejection. They too, have felt the fear of being alone. They too, have dreaded spreading HIV any further. So they can fully appreciate a relationship where both partners can share the ups and downs of living with HIV.
Positive couples can be there for each other without having any fear of intimacy. Isn't that what we are all looking for? This knowledge has changed me into a much stronger woman.
A woman who knows how precious and desirable I am. A woman who will not settle for second best, there are plenty of great positive guys out there. Negative men no longer frighten me.